• Security contractor admits shooting two men dead
• Text messages to Guardian detail events of August 2009

A former British soldier facing the death penalty in Iraq for allegedly murdering two fellow security contractors has given his first detailed account of the killings to the Guardian, admitting to shooting both dead but insisting he acted in self-defence.

Daniel Fitzsimons sent a series of messages to this newspaper detailing the events of last August in Baghdad’s green zone that led him to become the first foreigner to face justice in Iraq since the fall of Saddam Hussein.

Fitzsimons told the Guardian that he shot one of the men, former Royal Marine Paul McGuigan, from Innerleithen in Scotland, three times as McGuigan allegedly pointed an assault rifle at him.

He says the second victim, Darren Hoare, from Australia, was killed during a fight that followed. All three men had been contracted to work as guards for the British security firm ArmorGroup.

Fitzsimons – who faces two counts of murder and one of the attempted murder of an Iraqi guard – and his lawyers claim he acted in self-defence and was suffering from chronic post-traumatic stress disorder following a previous tour of Iraq and service in the military.

His lawyers, who are aware of his admission to the Guardian, claim he should never have been allowed to work for a security company given his condition and record.

This defence is disputed by relatives of McGuigan, who say Fitzsimons is trying to escape justice by concocting a story of a drunken fight when none occurred.

Fitzsimons disclosed his version of the events of 8 August last year through a series of text messages. In the first, he reveals he was with a group using the internet in a colleagues’ room. The meeting spiralled into a series of drunken brawls.

Fitzsimmons wrote that he was “drinking Grants whiskey” and “chatting on MSN to friends in country and back home. Paul McGuigan came into the room, pissed out of his skull. He was being a knob, having a go at me and slating some of my pals. I had enuf [sic] and punched him once on the nose. He was shocked and didn’t retaliate … We shook hands. I held a towel to his bloody nose. Drank more. Started on me again, telling me to punch him again. He was unstable, not me. This went on, hot and cold. Darren came in …”

Fitzsimons said he, McGuigan and Hoare had made numerous visits to each other’s rooms throughout the night, with tensions escalating each time. He claims the evening spilled over into violence when both men came to his room after he passed out from drinking half a bottle of whiskey.

“Paul punched me repeatedly,” his texts say. “I fought savagely to get out of bed. Managed to get out, but ended up on the floor being stomped on. I lost consciousness for a few seconds. Heard Paul shout: ‘We’re going to fucking kill you, you little ….’ I was getting it from both of them.”

“Paul grabbed my M4, which I had been scattered away from my assault vest and armor. He cocked the weapon. I pulled the glock from my vest chambered a round. Paul had already told me he was gonna kill me now he had my M4 in his shoulder. I shot him three times in the chest. After the first shot he was still standing. I double tapped and put a further two into him. he was dead before he hit the ground. In slow motion I saw the life leave his body.”

He said Hoare then “went for the glock” and a struggle ensued. “We were like animals …The booze had rushed rnd my body so quick coz of the fighting. The exact events at this point are blotchy at best. I remember blackness then madness. I know I fought for control of the pistol with Darren and I know I gained control and he was shot at point blank I’m sure. We were literally wrapped together arms and legs. Fighting and biting when the shots were fired.”

Fitzsimons had only been in Iraq for three days on a third tour as a private security contractor since leaving the British army. He had spent seven months in prison in 2007 on a charge of being in possession of illegal ammunition. He had been receiving psychiatric treatment since 2004, when he was still in the army. He was consulted again in May 2008 and June 2009, with a psychiatrist confirming his condition had worsened each time. The last diagnosis was made two months before he was hired to return to Iraq.

Clive Stafford Smith, director of the charity Reprieve, which is helping with Fitzsimons’ defence, told the Guardian: “As a British soldier, in the service of his country in Kosovo, Danny came across the dissected body parts of a young boy who had been bringing the troops bread, floating in the water supply. After this and other horrors, it is hardly surprising that he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder. It is unfathomable that ArmorGroup would dispatch him to a war zone without a proper screening, and one must wonder who ultimately bears the greatest responsibility for the tragedy that followed.”

Fitzsimons’s account of the night is at odds with a statement provided by McGuigan’s former fiance, Nicola Prestage, who claims shespoke to McGuigan via webcam for most of the night from 5:30pm. “We eventually said goodbye and logged off at 12.03am,” she said in a statement. “Paul was murdered at approximately 1.15am in an unprovoked attack.”

The confession also appears to conflict with the account ofJohn Pollard, the British coroner who received McGuigan’s body in the UKa month after the incident. He said: “There were no injuries on his body which might have revealed he had been involved in a physical altercation.”

In response to questions by the Guardian, ArmorGroup said: “We confirmed publicly on 15 September that, in this particular case, although there was evidence that Mr Fitzsimons falsified information during the recruitment process, his screening was not completed in line with the company’s procedures.

“We received two separate medical documents which certified that Mr Fitzsimons was fit to work in Iraq. It has subsequently come to light that the most recent of those documents was forged – we have reason to believe it was forged by Mr Fitzsimons.”

Prestage continued: “The fact they were not shot from close range rules out any notion of self-defence. Paul was sat on one side of the room on a chair and Darren was sat on the other side of the room on a bed. Paul was shot through the heart, the chest and through the mouth, and Darren was shot from behind, through his legs and through his temple.

Three weeks later, without the man I loved, I gave birth to his daughter, a beautiful baby girl who will never see her daddy, or receive a cuddle from him. I live a life sentence every minute of every day without Paul, and not fully enjoying our daughter. Everything she does is tinged with sadness knowing her daddy will never get to experience her.

“Can I claim I have PTSD living through this? I think not.”

Fitzsimons has been sent by a Baghdad court for further psychiatric evaluation. His trial will resume on 7 April.

If you feel like you already KNOW that we need to lose weight, fast forward to the 14:18 mark to spare yourself from the piousness of the beginning.

If you do like he suggested and learn to cook ten healthy recipes, that is enough variety to keep you from getting bored. He also suggested that people teach their children and friends how to cook these healthy recipes and these things will escalate to the entire nation. It’s a great idea and Jamie Oliver is on the right track. I find it ironic, however, that the next video on YouTube with Jamie Oliver is for Parmesan Chicken.

After watching, it looks like that piece of chicken has about as many calories as a typical hamburger. He put so much cheese and prosciutto on the large chicken breast that the fat content is about as high as a hamburger as well (and that was BEFORE he cooked it in oil). He added salt with the cheese and herbs and then put even MORE salt on while it was cooking. I understand that fresh food is better than fast food, but that recipe for Parmesan Chicken is no better than a McDonald’s chicken sandwich. Considering how many fingers he pointed at Main Street, school, home and even the workplace, he should have pointed a finger or two at himself.

Video via: nakedjen: When I write of hunger, I am really writing about love and the hunger for it, and warmth and the love of it and it is all one.

My co-worker, Chris Ford, is a great chef. Both of us share a passion for food and can speak eloquently about whatever seasonal item strikes our fancy, but Chris is a bolder, more adventurous cook. Also far more patient – he once described the steps he takes to produce a red wine and herb reduction that sounds delicious but would never survive an impulsive, impatient chef like me. These days the topic occupying our kitchen chats and afternoon musings is spring vegetables. Domestic asparagus is starting, as are spring onions and garlic, with my favorite spring vegetable, artichokes, soon to follow. The dialogue mostly revolves around some of our favorite springtime dishes; his is a lemon-braised artichoke heart; mine a cream of artichoke soup.

I’m buying artichokes for our stores this spring and I have to say the romance I feel for this vegetable has taken a bit of a hit so far. This is not a dig on artichoke growers, mind you; I have a lot of respect for the difficulty of their jobs. It’s just for a plant that is essentially a thistle (nice word for “weed”), it is extremely delicate and temperamental.  Part of this has to do with the time of year artichokes are harvested. Most folks think of springtime as a wonderful time of rebirth. The truth is springtime weather can be the most volatile of the year for farmers (particularly during El Niño years). Excessive rainfall can overwhelm artichokes and cause the buds to brown around the edges of the petals. Late frost is also a danger for artichokes whose delicate exterior surface layers will literally peel away (a condition known as frost kissing). But by mid-April, the weather generally stabilizes and for a few short weeks artichokes become abundant and reasonably priced.

Here’s Chris’ recipe for Lemon-Braised Artichoke Hearts:

1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil

1/2 cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

1 1/2 teaspoons finely chopped fresh thyme leaves

1 1/2 teaspoons minced garlic

1 1/2 teaspoons kosher salt

Small pinch freshly ground pepper

4 medium to large artichokes

1/2 lemon

Preheat the oven to 375°F. Combine the olive oil, lemon juice, thyme, garlic, salt and pepper in a medium nonreactive saucepan. Mix well and set aside while preparing the artichokes.

Snap outer leaves from an artichoke. Cut off the top half, and then use a paring knife to trim down to the heart, rubbing cut surfaces with the lemon half as you work to avoid discoloration. Cut the heart in half and scrape out the choke with a spoon. Cut each piece in half again.

As each artichoke heart quarter is completed, immediately turn it in the marinade to coat completely. When all the artichokes are trimmed, put the pan over high heat and bring to a boil. Pour the artichokes and marinade into a baking dish (or cook them in the saucepan if it is ovenproof), cover with foil and cook until the artichokes are tender when pierced with a fork, about 45 minutes. Remove from the oven and let cool in the cooking liquid.

If preparing a larger number of artichokes, just increase the marinade proportionately. There are numerous ways to serve these artichokes. They are perfect as an appetizer salad on their own with their braising liquid. Make sure to have crusty bread on hand to sop up the juices. You can also slice or roughly chop and scatter across a cheese pizza. Be sure to drizzle some of the braising liquid on the pizza as well. Try roughly chopping and adding to a risotto at the last minute just to heat through. Add some of the braising liquid, too, to flavor the risotto. Season a nice piece of fish with salt and pepper and place on top of the artichokes to cook with them the last 10 to 15 minutes of their cooking time. Drizzle with olive oil just before serving.

Here’s my Cream of Artichoke Soup recipe:

3 large or 5 small artichokes

1 medium yellow onion finely chopped

Olive oil

28 oz low sodium chicken (or vegetable) stock

Pinch of nutmeg

2 oz heavy cream (optional)

Salt and pepper to taste

Steam the artichokes long enough so that the leaves can be removed easily (25 to 35 minutes depending on size), allow to cool. Remove the leaves and the “choke” (the fuzzy inedible interior layer that eventually becomes the flower), leaving the heart and stem. The stems can also be used but you should trim off the exterior, stringy layer. Set aside.

Chop onions and sauté with olive oil in a 4-quart pot, taking care not to burn, until soft and translucent (5 minutes). Add the artichoke hearts and stems along with the nutmeg, pepper and chicken stock. Cook over low heat until liquid is reduced by a third. Remove from heat and allow to cool. Mix in a blender until smooth and creamy. Add cream and salt to taste and reheat. Serve with warm crusty bread (I like sourdough).

In a few weeks our office will be swimming in artichoke samples – mainly vendors showing different ways of packaging but also different varieties of artichokes (there is a variety called the Lyon I am anxious to try). When they arrive we plan to make a big batch of both recipes for the office as we welcome spring to Northern California. Both these recipes take some effort but the reward at the end is worth it. What’s your favorite artichoke recipe?

Many thanks to Chris Ford and Ha Lam (photos) for contributing to this post.

Being happy is a choice, your choice.  Only you can decide how you feel.  You keep saying that others are “making” you act, feel, think, do; this just simply isn’t true.  You are the one with the power, you are the one with the choice to make about how to BE.. or how to feel, act, or do.  Others bring you opportunity to experience thoughts and emotions, to act or react, but you are the decider, not them.

What are you choosing right now?  The answer is simple to gain, listen to your thoughts, feel your feelings.  Is this the energy you wish to use  to create your experiences today?  If not shift right now by picking a thought that is more in line with what you want to experience.  Watch how your feelings follow that thought, more thoughts, more feelings in line with that energy come easily to you now.

Stay with this process, let it build, stay in the energy groove.  Now when someone comes into your space offering you a choice to experience yourself as something other than what you’ve already lined up to feel, you can easily say , “no thank you” and stay in your energy groove.  Notice how things and people with similar to what you are thinking and feeling begin to show up.  It’s easy now to stay in your creative energy groove.

No matter what comes to your attention remember that the choice to be happy is always yours.  You decide by choosing thoughts, feelings and actions in line with what you want to experience. No one has the power or authority over you to force you to feel or think any other way.  You always get to decide on your own feelings and thoughts. 

The more you practice this the easier and more natural it becomes.  In the beginning you will catch yourself jumping vibrations, it’s easy to decide to line back up with what you want to experience.. just shift those thoughts and feelings back to what you want to experience.

Within a short time you will notice that experiences line up more and more often with this new state of being you have chosen.  It get much easier to stay in this groove. 

Enjoy your creative powers, know yourself as the one creating it all.. You have the power to create your life the way you like it.

Visit my website for eBooks to help you discover your own inner power.

Tagged: . choose to be happy, being happy, create your life, Law of Attraction, powerful-self